If you log onto the WSL website and you read their Fantasy Surfer picks, they go into painstaking depths concerning surfer’s heat win percentages, average heat scores, and blah blah blah. Next thing they’re going to have a computer write their Fantasy Surfer picks for them. They’ll just plug the data into some sort of statistical program, and ping bam boom out it will spit this event’s Fantasy Surfer picks. Artificial Intelligence at it’s best. Taking over our soulful sport. But here at Zag, we understand that these mense are humans. And humans have good days and bad. And they go on rolls and through slumps. And so we keeping it real. Artificial Intelligence, let’s limit that to driverless cars and straw factories in China. So here we have it, Zag’s Fantasy Surfer picks for the obscenely rippable Hurley Pro Trestles.
We made an error not putting the big man in our team for Tahiti. But then again, the waves were small and it kind of made it anyone’s game. The big man took his big frame and shoved that thing into some grindy little pits. He waited for the good ones and ended up with a third place result. Safe to say JS is on a bit of a roll right now. Heading into a spot he knows well, and a wave which pretty much classifies as a rippable point break, Jordy Smith is a safe bet for this year’s Hurley Pro Trestles.
Third place at the Corona Open J-Bay complimented by a win at the Billabong Pro Tahiti, Julian’s got that confident gangster swagger back. That Trestles lip just begs for a tail waft, and we know Julian’s well adapt in the art of a stinky tail waft. Remember a couple of years ago, when the opening event of the season, the 2015 Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast was excruciatingly small for the entire waiting period – yes, the year Freddy P rode his board into a rock and Gabby swore on the webcast courtesy of his interference with Glen Hall? Yep, that’s the one. Well the boy band-looking, soft featured J Sizzle surfed his way to a second place finish in grovelly Snapper. Trestles looks like it’s going to be small for most of the waiting period, let’s see if J Dubbs can keep that roll rolling.
Andino’s pretty much a Trestles local. He’s lightening fast and surfing small waves around the SoCal region is his bread and butter. Kolohe’s never done too well out at Lowers, not as far as we can remember anyway, but we got a sneaky feeling, an inkling should we say, considering the forecast, that Andino’s going to shred this event apart.
We’ve put Fanning in our team since we started writing this thang. He’s a Tier A surfer trapped in a Tier B result. And to be honest, Fanning hasn’t acquired the results we’ve expected of him. Like a naughty school child with heaps of talent unable to apply himself to his homework. We have a good mind to give Mick a hiding. But we won’t, we’ll just take him outta our team and replace him with Caio Ibelli. Caio’s got a good rail, is good in the air and he knows how to grovel. Lets see how he goes.
The Italian Ferrari. He’s grown up surfing some random right point in Brazil, he rides boards wide enough to maintain speed through shitty flat waves, and he gets a filthy amount of release from his tail in big or small waves. Frothing.
Zeke is in a fairly perilous position on the Championship Tour. You have to scroll at least three times, depending on your mouse, before you find his face on the rankings list. He’s gotten caught up in unnecessary paddle battles with competitors he’s most probably had grief with, instead of simply focussing on the task at hand. In Ballito, Zeke and Beyrick went on an extravagant excursion together, up and down the beach trying to psych each other out. They might as well have held hands and had a little smooch while they were at it! And a similar thing happened in Tahiti against team mate Wiggolly Dantas. Zeke needs to put this nonsense behind him and let his surfing do the talking. If he does this, which we’re sure Snake Tales has implored, we’re betting he’ll kill at Trestles
Kanoa’s surfing is a touch flicky for our tastes. Certainly no South African muscle there. But he’s fresh off a win at the US Open of Surfing and his teenage approach might do well considering the lackluster forecast on hand. Hell, might as well give the grom a go…
If you have the time, and/or take your Fantasy Surfer picks intensely seriously, then perhaps taking a look at the Trestles cam replay might help you. But damn it’s boring. We certainly wouldn’t…