17 October, 2019 17 October, 2019

Cosmic Cruisers are Here to Stay

Sometimes it’s hard to find exactly what sort of board you need, and there are times when it all gets a bit confusing. Is it a longboard kind of day, or is a Fish day? Do you want to surf a retro board and have some fun or do you want to sink a rail and send spray skywards? Do you want to catch waves easily, and forfeit turns, or do you want a banana-shaped shooter that’ll turn on a 5cent piece provided you take off with the lip?

These are some of the options available to modern-day surfers, who are not scared of the renaissance, and who embrace friction free surfing along with high-risk speed, power and flow style surfing. A fish, an egg, a fat-boy or a longboard? Flex tail, bat tail, swallow or diamond? 

The latest option to gain some traction overseas as well as back at home is the cosmic cruiser-style longer twinnie. Generally coming in north of 7’6, these boards are an absolute dream to ride in small waves as well as medium sized waves. They like perfection, a cosmic cruiser is built to cruise down points, to outrace point-break sections, to blow your long hair back in the wind and have your beaver tail flapping. A cosmic cruiser is all of this and more.

It is the answer to the questions of the world, and it is the meaning of life, the universe and everything. It is in fact, Morning Of The Earth personified and it will force your brain to think peaceful thoughts of love, yoga and yogurt.

Mine is 7’6 x 20.5 x 2.9 and is built to cruise. If I still smoked weed, this would be the board to surf while gaffed. As it is, it’s a whole lot of fun surfing straight and when the waves get a bit bigger and still hold a bit of wall, she climbs right in there and accelerates like the best of them. 

Torren Martyn is currently the best out there on a cosmic cruiser, taking the long twinnie to new places on a wave, including inside the maw of some massive, seriously thick barrels. The very idea of a paddle-friendly, turn-friendly longer board is probably based on his surfing, and it is also videos like this that have turned so many people onto these boards. 


These cruisers however, have a whole more in the engine than what you would believe. They hold in the barrel for one, with the larger twin fins always finding a deeper edge in the water. They are also loose in the tail, providing you hold your gravity over the tail and don’t feel compelled to widen your stance to compensate for the length out front.

Then obviously they catch any wave you want, literally. More length, more volume, more width makes it a cinch for wave catching, and then when you get going, the high line on a cruiser is quite literally the fastest you can get on a surfboard without pumping and jumping like a Brazilian QS’er. 

The most important thing however, and one that cannot be ignored in the slightest, is how cool they look on your car, or under your arm. As long as you have a little bit of knowledge about our twin-fin heritage and can name a few twinfin surfers and shapers, you’ll be fine. 

Best surfed on: point-breaks, in cut –off jeans or in a beaver-tail wetsuit. 

Best pre-cruiser surf fix: a pencil joint and a few wheat-grass shots.

Best post-cruiser come down: a few downward dogs and organic yoghurt eaten with an edible spoon.

Best vehicle to take your cosmic cruiser down to the beach: an original VW Beetle. 

Best accompanying bumper sticker: ‘What A Long, Strange Trip’ 

Best accompanying sunscreen: edible zinc made with kelp and love.  

1 Comment

  1. Board Slut Jonesy
    22 October, 2019 at 12:21 pm · Reply

    Craig ……now I have to order one of these ……rekindled my eternal board slut boner.

    You can explain to the wife about the bank balance bra.


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