24 February, 2020 24 February, 2020

Man Fends off White Shark with F-Bombs & Fists

A surfer down in New Zealand has reportedly managed to fend off a large white shark with nothing but fists and F-Bombs. Going full McGregor on the predator Nick Minogue, aged 60, managed to deter the beast that snuck up on his inside by gooi’ing knuckles straight to its eye telling it to “F–k off” in the process. 

“I was just paddling along and got hit on the side of my elbow and forearm. By the time I realized what was going on, its teeth were definitely latched on to the front section of the board. I actually shouted at it ‘F–k off’ and went to punch it in the eye and missed. Then I pulled my fist back and shouted ‘F–k off’ again and got it right smack bang in the eye.”

Talk about adding insult to injury. Before slipping back into the blue abyss the Kiwi was able to get a proper scope of the assailant:

“In between the two punches, it crunched down a bit more on the board and then disengaged its teeth, got its jaws off. Then I got brushed by the dorsal fin and the tail fin and swam off. It was a gray shark with a white bottom, probably a great white. It had a big head and jaw, I kind of sat up in shock and decided to hit it. That was the only thing to do. I’ve still got an arm and fingers, it could have been a lot worse.”

When he got back to shore, Minogue realized that the shark had taken a few small chunks out of his board — as well as his arm.

“I was very, very lucky. If it had opened its jaws sooner, it would’ve taken a bite out of the middle of the board, it would’ve got probably my arm and half my torso. It would’ve most likely been fatal.”

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