Who would’ve thought a virus that started in the middle of industrial Wuhan China, would come to have such a devastating effect on the entire globe, let alone South Africa? It’s like something out of a sci-fi movie. One minute we were getting our Fantasy Surfer Teams ready for action, frothing to see Matty McG perform on the world stage, next we’re wearing face masks and gloves, spraying hand sanitizer all over the place. The world has been turned on its head.
Before I get into the main part of my article, here are three healthy pieces of advice to enjoy:
1.) Avoid Conspiracy Theories – Don’t be a conspiracy theory hotspot. Don’t go down that road. Please! I beg you! While you sit in your house alone, your brain left to roam the dark corners of the globe, avoid conspiracy theories like the plague. Cause even if it is true (which it isn’t) what the hell are you going to do if the globalists are performing population culling? Get people to sign a petition? Join an anti-globalist Facebook group? Give me a break, save your energy.
2.) Don’t Go Surf – In case you didn’t see our IG. Two young men decided to go surf (very average) Supers during lockdown and the constabulary caught them mid bottom turn. Boom. They loaded them up and stuck them in the back of the van and issued them a set of very hefty R5000 fines.
3.) Don’t Worry. Let me throw in a quote here from my man, big J! Jesus, “who of you by worrying will add a single day to his life?” Seriously, you can’t control the future, so there’s literally no point in worrying about it. I love you guys, that’s why I say this.
Anyway, enough of that, let’s get down to what I came here to say! And that is to point your surf obsessed nose in the direction of 5 all time, totally free, surf movies. Woooohooo!
First Chapter by Dane Reynolds
Oh man, if you’re a millennial, First Chapter was one of the most revolutionary films of the mid-2000s. Dane’s first profile film saw him traverse the globe in search of rippable waves. And man the surfing he did was biblical! Big, powerful airs, man-sized rail gouges, and gaping wide barrels, Dane’s film had it all! In a world where everyone rode 6’2’s 18 1/4 by 2 1/4 and did stock-standard up and down turns, Dane taught us to ride wider, thicker equipment and blow our tails as far out back as possible. Dane taught us to slide. Dane opened our minds to a world where you didn’t need a perfect knock-knee style, where innovation had no style. Dane made ugly beautiful.
The surfing we see today on tour was inspired by what Dane did back in 2006. Fact!
Lost Atlas by Kai Neville
Back before Kai Neville owned a sunglasses company he made surf movies. Full-length Surf Movies featuring the hottest surfers at the time, which included guys like Dane Reynolds, Jordy Smith, Dusty Payne, John John and Mitch Coleborn. Kai Neville took over where Taylor Steele left off – and he didn’t just make surf porn, he created a brand, a cult that surf people followed religiously.
Lost Atlas was Kai’s second full-length offering and it was a smorgasbord of pure filth. Dusty Payne famously said some horrific things about women’s surfing and then did some of the best surfing we’d ever witnessed on a Mexican point break. Skip past Dusty’s stupid ramblings, but do enjoy his rail work.
Twelve by John John Florence
This isn’t a full-length movie, we know, in fact it’s a series, but it’s so great, we had to include it here. John John’s View From a Blue Moon is considered one of the best surf films ever made, and Twelve is in that same vein. The narrative is broken up into seven parts and it follows JJF on his quest for a maiden world title. The surfing and camera work is absolutely extraordinary. From giant waves to huge airs and big barrels, Twelve has it all. Has there ever been a more appropriate world champion? A true waterman that can win a big-wave contest one day and a beach break contest the next? John John truly is incredible and Twelve displays that perfectly.
Pedro’s Bay
If ever there was a surf film that made you want to travel to the far reaches of the globe in search of crystalline turquoise water and empty perfect barrels, Pedro’s Bay would be it. Ahhh, Utopia. Maybe watching this won’t be a good idea, it’s just too dreamy for right now – holed away in your one-bedroom apartment while Supertubes fires away unridden. Apart from the Vissla crew sliding into beautifully perfect A-frames, Pedro’s Bay features two of the most innovative alternate craftsmen at present, namely; Derrick Disney and Bryce Young. Honestly, I’m a stickler for a good ol’ thruster. But I’d be a fool if a said I didn’t appreciate Bryce Young’s work on that asymmetrical craft. It’s groundbreaking. Vissla’s slogan is ‘Creators & Innovators’ – Bryce Young and Derrick Disney do that slogan justice.
Tesoro Enterrado by Torren Martyn
The first time I saw Torren Martin was three or four years ago in J-Bay. He spent a couple of weeks in the Bay of Jay hanging round the bottom section of Supertubes in search of double up drainers. Paddling back from a wave past the Car Park Section, I saw a long-haired Greek God gracefully slide into an almond-shaped pit. Carefully threading the barrel, responding innately to its subtle nuances and emerging to garnish the stretched wall with several riveting carves. The lines he drew were subversive, powerful yet delicate, long hair flowing in the wind, never sliding, fully in control, transcendent. I quickly concluded that Torren’s performance was one of the best I’d ever seen someone surf Supertubes… on thruster or twinnie.
Torren has been traversing the globe creating video content on NeedESSENTIALS and Surf Stitch’s dime. And the results make for highly entertaining viewing. Particularly Tesoro Enterrado, where Torren surfs gaping Mexican barrels on a mid-length twin-fin.
