1 April, 2017 1 April, 2017

Dagga Farm Bars Access to Secret Spots

EDIT: [ April Fools 😉 ]

On the back of the Cape High Court’s decision to decriminalise marijuana, news has emerged this morning that Gupta company, Oakbay Investments, has secured a huge piece of land in the Eastern Cape for the country’s first large-scale commercial dagga farm. The development, situated in the environmentally sensitive Pondoland region of the Transkei, is likely to cut surfers off from a string of unspoilt secret spots and point breaks in the region, as Oakbay have applied to have the entire area restricted, in the same way De Beers regulates public access to the diamond rich coast around Port Nolloth, Alexander Bay and the Sperrgebiet in Namibia.

“Due to the extremely sensitive nature of the development, and the huge value of the cash crop, we can’t allow access to either the local community, or holiday makers and hobbyists who once may have enjoyed this stretch of coastline.” Said Oakbay Investments spokesperson Sanjay Ganjadon. “But rest assured the farming operation will create longterm employment opportunities for the local communities and we will be running power cables directly from the soon-to-be approved nuclear power station in Thyspunt, to power the processing development plants.”

Surfers will be denied access to certain spots in the Transkei. © Greg Ewing

“We’ve been working round the clock with our partners Monsanto South Africa, to develop new hybridised strains of genetically modified cannabis crops that will produce the highest yields and rapidly disperse and destroy the inferior indigenous species of the plant growing wild in the region.”

When pressed on how the company was able to flout the Public Coastal Access laws, Mr Ganjadon replied angrily: “this is a multi-billion Rand project! We simply cannot allow access to people, especially surfers, who are widely known for being anti-establishment. The risk of them thieving and consuming vast quantities of our product is very real. It is our prerogative to ensure that it is our employees, but mainly our shareholders, who should enjoy the major benefits of this project.”

We’ll keep you posted on any future developments.

Many secret spots will see waves got by unridden. © Dylan Haskin

*Featured Image: © Daniel Grebe


  1. wolf
    1 April, 2017 at 1:04 pm · Reply

    april fool

  2. Namstevee (required)
    1 April, 2017 at 5:45 pm · Reply

    Is this true or a april dools joke

  3. Lunch Hemsley
    3 April, 2017 at 8:48 am · Reply

    Is this for real? WTF?

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