I made contact with Stacey Guy down in Cape Town for a whatsup and too see what her plan of action is for the next few months. In a bid to write some really cool words and impress all the blogroll readers out there, I came up with a pretty nifty line of questions for ol Stace, all of which will be revealed when you get reading them. Stacey answered all of the questions with aplomb, even the creepy ones of which there are a few. Kind of the way she approaches a slabbing shack of water – with aplomb. So before we all get carried away with this wayward intro and ponder the infantile approach I have utilised to get my word count up, let’s check in with Cape ripper Stacey and ask her how things are…

Zag: How’s your website?

SG: Looking pretty sick at the moment – www.staceyguy.co.za – check it out.

Zag: How’s your best tube ever?

SG: It was in Ballito actually, at Surfers Point on the middle bank. A right-hander. I kinda took off sketchy, then pulled into the section in front of me and just stood there. I don’t know how long it was but it was so round and sandy and I was going to pull thru, but then I thought of Tammy Lee and I knew she would shout at me for being a woes,so I hung on and then came out cleanly with a shocked expression on my face.

Zag: How’s your quiver looking at the moment?

SG: It’s starting to look good. I went through a stage where I had no good boards, and I was getting frustrated. Then Baron made me two rad ones. They are super sexy.

Zag: On that note, how’s your sexiest dude in the world?

SG: Carey Hart. Mmmmmm sexxxxxy. I also have a crush on Dion Aguis too. His airs do things for me.

Zag: How’s your love life at the moment?

SG: Single single single!

Zag: How’s your libido?

SG:  Depends on the day. Today is medium rare to sexy.

Zag:  How’s your bank account looking?

SG: It’s looking a bit sad haha. It’s tough when you have to be a grown up.

Zag: How’s your professional surfing career panning out?

SG: It’s a bit weird at the moment. There have been so few contests this year. It would be awesome to see the PST like it was four or five years ago.

Zag: How’s your hometown doing right now?

SG: Cape Town is the best place in the whole world. We have everything. I don’t care what the KZN people say about the water being too cold or the weather being too bad. Buy a good wetsuit. I surf fun waves every day with only a handful of people out, and we have been having so many sunny, beautiful winter days with lank swell.

Zag. How’s your favourite wave at the moment?

SG: Derdesteen. It has been pretty average the last month or so. There was a stage from Feb to about June where it was just amazing from like one to six-foot. Beautiful banks. Lefts and rights. A-frames. I got worked a lot but there were such sick waves. Now Melkbos has been pretty good, and even Big Bay.

Zag: How’s you lying about Big Bay ekse?

SG: True story.

Zag: How’s women’s surfing in South Africa and the rest of the world right now?

SG: Right up there. There are a few Saffa girls, they know who they are, who are incredibly talented; they have natural talent, and that’s special. I love watching them, they are definitely good enough to cut it internationally.

Zag: How’s your dopping coming on?

SG: It’s a bit lame-o. I’m not a big drinker. I have to go to Doodles Happy Hour every Thursday. It’s fun, all my mates go and we have Pizza and half-price drinks. Usually mellow though, I only go big once in a while. I hate hangovers. I’m pretty useless for the whole day after a big jorl, and I can’t stop eating junk food and NikNaks.

Stacey Guy rocking out ...© Tyron Kansley

Zag: How’s what really pisses Stacey off?

SG:  Traffic really fucks me off. I was born with zero patience and I hate it when people drive like idiots. The roadworks for 2010 make it a gazillion times worse. I freak.

Zag: How’s your favourite part of your body?

SG: Everybody makes fun of my fat bottom lip, bit I think it’s rad. people pay lank dollars to make their lips fat.

Zag: Fat lips rock our world to pieces.

SG: Thanks.

This week we bumped into Simon Nicholson and got chatting. Simon is a lovely human being, as anyone who knows him would attest to. His wife is a massive fan of everything he does, and his baby is also a great devotee. Yet sometimes one gets the feeling that Simon might, just maybe, want to get something off his chest. Yet he is a fairly timid man at heart, and is not the sort to go out and bash anyone for his or her beliefs or values. A good man is the best way to describe him. The sort you would want your daughter to date when she came of legal age.

So it took some gentle probing, some innocuous prodding and a little bit of poking before we could get Simon to open up. Was it worth it? Gee whiz but we were spot on. The man has some serious issues, all of which were desperate to see the light of day. This was a marriage of time and opportunity. We were but a conduit to his previously suppressed venting, his latent anger. At least now we know that much more about one of our best surfers in the country. Not all of it is that pretty, but no one ever said that surfing is a pretty sport. You just need to look at some of the styles of the surfers down The Dunes to attest to the fact that surfing is not that pretty, but I digress.

The open-ended question to Simon was simply: What really, really, really bugs Simon Nicholson?

We wanted ten things that piss Simon off, and why. He came back with six, but boy are they goodies!

1. Religious fanatics… really? So you just know you are right? How? Oh yes, because the book that was written 2000 years ago said so. Oh well, then it must be right. Doesn’t your arch enemy also have a book that reads the same? Come on people, please. It’s the 21st century. Have faith but use your fucking common sense.

2. Every time I realize how much I whinged about just missing the cut for the ASP World Tour by one spot back in the ancient days. I was so lame, I never qualified, and I couldn’t get over it. I am well and truly over it now. It is embarrassing. I didn’t have enough game. Simple

3. Watching myself surf on video – oh God. I’ve probably got the gayest style in the world. Could I have more of a hunchback? And what the fuck is up with my fingers? Tape that shit together already.

4. Weed. Yes it is addictive, yes it does make you anti-social and paranoid as fuck. No, nobody is out to get you, you just lit up too many times…now your brain is starting to tweak out. Quit that shit.

5. Victim personality. In case nobody told you, you have a choice. Yes, your shit life is your fault. Good news is you can change it right now. That’s if you want to.

6. South African surfers who think the surf is too crowded. Seriously, drive two kilometres and I bet you there will be not one person out. South African surfers who complain are just too lazy to surf anywhere other than their local. They should probably harden the fuck up.

And that’s about enough hating for one day. As you were.

Simon

So I was saying that we were in Bali, cruising around and having a well-deserved break with the family. Plenty of South Africans around, with quite a few of them actually travelling with my wife’s travel company (danger – free punt alert! ) All Aboard Travel. Tammy Lee Smith was one such surfer in the hood, charging all over the Bukit peninsula in her search for waves. We bumped into her in the surf, and at the Mexican restaurant, where she gladly held our baby boy for a while, giving us a little break.  It’s always good to catch up with South Africans whilst travelling. Here is the second part of Tammy Lee Smith’s recent holiday in Bali and Hawaii.

Zag: What was the raddest thing about your recent trip?

TLS: Shooting photos and travelling with my good friends from home.

Zag: What was the lamest thing about your trip?

TLS: Getting charged for boards everywhere, and getting Bali Belly.

Zag: What advice would you give to anyone going to Bali?

TLS: Take booties and a tent. I think camping there would be awesome. Also, don’t go to Kuta, that place is an absolute riot…

Zag: …and Hawaii?

TLS: Don’t go to Hawaii in summer. It’s wet and there are hardly any waves.

Tammy Lee charging Canggu © Gerhard Engelbrecht

Zag: What are your upcoming surf plans?

TLS: Travel, surf, hopefully ride some swells in Cape Town when I get back. There is one more ‘QS this year, in Brazil, but I will have to see how the funds are doing by then.

Zag: What is the best thing about surfing right now?

TLS: That it is my lifestyle. I get to travel. Surfing is free.

Zag: Who is your favourite surfer in the world right now?

TLS That’s a tough question. Mel Bartels because she does rad airs, Mia Gabeira because she charges, Slater for his competitiveness and anyone who is talented at riding alia’s.

Zag: What is your favourite board at the moment?

TLS: My standard Bilt 5′7, 171/2. Also my alia my artist friend made me for for my birthday.

Zag: How do you think competitive surfing could be improved at this time?

TLS: For a start we could have more women’s events for the WQS.

Zag: Finally, a quick test. If you found a million dollars in a briefcase, but if you took it an Indonesian man would fall off his scooter and die. Would you take the money?

TLS: All I’m going to say is a million dollars is a lot of Rands.

Zag: ’nuff said. Thanks for your time and catch up and catch up back home.

TLS: Thanks. See ya.

Why we decided to go to Bali I’ll never know. I knew it was going to be crowded and dirty, as it usually is, but i held out a glimmer of hope that there might be some breaks in the crowds, that there might be a solid swell that clears out the line-ups somewhat, that there might be a little bit of peace underneath the chaos. As it was, there were some waves, we did get some swell, but the relentless, heaving crowds didn’t give much in the way of waves. It was swarming for most of the trip. Eurotrash and Aussie bogans en masse. Luckily we all have some experience at surfing New Pier and some of the crowded EC waves, so the actual approach to surfing amongst the masses was not a problem to us.

Before I knew it, it was my 40th birthday. The waves had a bit of morning sickness on them, but your 40th birthday is one of those days when you just have to go and surf. I launched over the coral with my bare feet, jumped into the swirl and headed out and down along the current at Ulus. I managed to get to the back with no problem, and lucked into a few little gems. Next thing I see Tammy Lee Smith coming down the point towards us. She had been surfing further up, towards Temples, and it was good to see another South African in the water with me (this soon changed, as before I knew it there were quite a few homies around).

Curious, I hit Tammy Lee up with a few questions as to what she was up to, where surfing was taking her and what the future holds. Here’s what she had to say:

Tammy Lee Smith cruising Bali © Gerhard Engelbrecht.

Zag: So Tammy Lee, where have you been at?

TLS: Well, after competing in the QS at Huntington Beach I decided to do a little surf trip to Bali with a child-hood friend of mine from Ballito. Seemed as if most South Africans had the same idea in mind haha. We stayed mainly around the Padang area but ventured around the island a bit and surfed Padang, Ulus, some beachbreaks on the West Coast of Bali and mostly Canggu. Due to overbooked flights I am currently in Hawaii. Small waves here on the North Shore. I surfed small Sunset Point today. I am going to be stopping in Cali for 4 days on the way home, and then Home Sweet Home.

Zag: How did it go at the Huntington event?

TLS: I didn’t do great. I got knocked in the round of 48, and my wave selection was really poor. But like my dad always says to me,  ”If it’s not this one, it’s the next one.”

Zag: That’s sound advice. How long have you been gone for?

TLS: Just over a month, but the trip is nearly over.

Zag: Where did you get your best waves?

TLS: Well I’ve had some great waves. In California I mainly surfed HB, Newport and Carlsbad. Oceanside area . In Bali I surfed Padang, Ulu’s, Temples, Canggu, Dreamlands, Belangan, and Green Bowls. I’d say I got my best waves at Canggu because it is a reeling right-hander and not that many people out. I also got some swell in the States for a change. They were calling it twenty-five foot but it was more like five foot haha.

to be continued…